Know whose you are.

November is national adoption month.. My heart is so close to adoption. For many reasons. I have such a heart to bring children into my home and love them and raise them as my own. I love watching friends bring children into their home and see them as flawless and perfection. I love looking at the dads holding their adopted daughter in the air and looking at her as if she was the greatest thing that has ever happened to him and think "Wow, that's how my Father in Heaven sees me in fact, this picture doesn't even do it justice! I still find that hard to imagine but it's true. His love for His children is unimaginable.

My whole life until now I have carried the burden of an orphan spirit.. I'm not talking about physical adoption but the adoption between Our Heavenly Father and His children. I received Jesus as my Savior at the age of 4 however, I was always a wanderer. Not in the way of wanting to do bad things. In fact quite the opposite. I wanted to be perfect because that was where I put my value.

Until I am a good example.

Until I'm perfect and have it all together.

 Until people see me as someone special I will never be enough.

Those were the thoughts that would daily creep into my head. Because of that orphan spirit that would make itself at home in my spirit from about seventeen to twenty  I struggled with suicide attempts, anorexia and many other insecurities that nobody knew about. According to many people I was the happiest person you'd ever meet. But that's because I've learned to shut down emotions from the inside and be all smiles on the outside. No one ever knew until I spoke out years later.

When I became a mom I kicked those insecurities to the curb because as a person I was happy and joyful I loved this life of a wife and mom. I was literally living my dream. I no longer let anorexia effect how I ate or saw food however, a new insecurity I found in motherhood took place. The feeling of being a horrible mom, not doing it right and I can do better took place. And to be honest people trying to "Help" a young mom by telling her what she needs to doing as a mom certainly didn't help. I  felt so lost and alone and when I looked in the mirror I couldn't help but say many nights "You have to be better, Heather!"

To be honest, this new found security in my Father is so new to me still. In fact, Just weeks before Arrows and warriors was created (back in August) was when I was freed from my pasts, that spirit that crippled me from being me. Yes, I was saved and I received God as my Father since the age of four however I consider July 27th 2015 as my adoption birthday because it was when I truly received my Father to be my Father. It was when I truly believed I was enough already because I am hidden in Christ and when God sees me, When He hears me He's looking through the lens of Jesus' perfection.

I now know the true importance of not only knowing who we are in Christ but also receiving it. We may know who we are in Christ but like I did some of us may refuse to believe it due to the fact that orphan spirit tells us that God's love is earned.

But it's the devils mission above all missions to keep that truth from entering us because once it does he wouldn't know what to do but raise his white flag and surrender the war he has already lost.. Truth is demons cannot stand it when we know to whom they belong. When we realize that we are Daughters.

Can I encourage you today with a challenge this week? Something that I have started to do in the morning and even encourage my (almost three year old) to do is when I first wake up and walk into the bathroom I look in the mirror and say "Jesus, I love you! Thank you for loving me and today we can thrive together."

And along with that continue to journal and practice hearing for His voice. I believe God is going to show you just how special He knows you are.

There's a quote that was said by Heidi Baker whom I love. It's a quote that I often go back to where she says: "You can believe you are an orphan and stay that way, or you can believe that you are a child of Papa Daddy God."

Seriously, if you didn't let those words just sink into your soul you should. Whenever I hear those words it always gives me a reality/spiritual check.

Moms. Know whose you are. Know to whom you belong. Know that you are loved, cherished and cared for. Know that you are made to do the impossible and know that with God you can.

Know that you are a great mom and that Jesus is so proud of you and wants to help you because He's their Daddy too! We're not meant to do this alone.

 XOXO-Heather