Monday, March 7, 2016

To the mom of a strong-willed child.


 You're the mom who sometimes has to carry her child through the grocery store kicking and screaming.

Or leaving story time early because your kid didn't want to do everything the other preschoolers were doing. 

You're the mom who is still potty training your toddler after months of trying and it's still not 100% succeeded yet because your toddler just wants their own way.

You're the mom who sometimes feels invisible or disrespected when you tell your toddler not to do something for the twentieth time and they do it anyway. 

Or they like to color outside the lines because they like to make it their own. 

You're the mom who often gets looks and judgment on a daily basis. You get advice that you didn't ask for, and you often wonder if you're doing it right and if you're truly cut out for this mom stuff. 

You're the mom who often has to prepare herself when you tell your kid "no"

I get it! Because I'm there.

 I have two beautiful girls both 3 and 1. My three year old is strong-willed in a way to where she has to do everything herself such as open things, stir the batter, open her door and brush her teeth. She sets herself up for success and doesn't ask for help unless she absolutely has no other choice and she absolutely hates the word no.. If I were to tell her no usually two things happen she either gets really upset or she works her way around and tries to get me to say yes. 

My one year old on the other hand would be my strong willed wanderer.  She likes to explore without limits and mommy saying "no" She is the one who I have to often remove from situations because she is pulling things off shelves or I have to put her in the pack in play because she won't stop touching the DVD player after telling her "no" twenty times. 

I often get looks when I go out. I get the looks  from people without kids, I get looks of compassion and the looks of "Go mom!" 

I get comments such as "You have double the trouble" or "Looks like double the headache to me" and it breaks my heart that my children have to hear such a rude comment from a stranger when to me they are my world. They are my blessings and they are my mission and purpose. 

I'm the mother of two strong-willed children.. And to be honest previously I didn't enjoy that trait at all! I sometimes wished they would give in to my will without a fight.  I still do at times but as I watch them and as The Lord shows me His Kingdom through these little ones I'm realizing just how much of a Kingdom trait a strong personality is. Because they're go getters, dream chasers, and they don't care about what people think of them (obviously) but they're gonna do what they're gonna do and put up a fight if you tried to stop them. Now, imagine that personality trait being used for The Kingdom's purpose? I know! Talk about stomping on hell for a living.

Of course, our children require guidance. They require extra patience. They require strong leaders (parents) who gently, but firmly, remind them that they still have much to learn -- that their way is not always the best way. They require parents who can teach them how to channel that strong will into useful pursuits, which sometimes seems daunting in and of itself. But it is such a blessing to raise them. Because we get to see it all.

So Mamas, Take joy in your strong-willed babe.. I know it's hard and in this you are receiving great patience. But your child is a world changer. You're child is the influence of his or her generation. They will make a difference in this world and they will be the generation that shows the face of Jesus. 

God has called you to this. He's qualified you for this purpose and you are doing an amazing job. You are doing one of the greatest things there is for the Kingdom of God. Raising a child and guiding Him in the way they should go because most of the time our greatest kingdom work isn't in what we do but with who we raise. And our strong-willed children have much to bring.





Heather Leigh is the founder of Arrows and warriors online ministry. She is firstly a daughter of God and loves meeting with Him early in the morning before her little arrows wake up. She is married to her best friend Leon and together have two little girls Evelynne and Liya.

Heather loves the color pink, all things coffee shops and coffee, tea parties and dress up with her girls and going on adventures and exploring through the eyes of her children as they show her glimpses of God's Kingdom.

5 comments:

  1. Yes momma! This was my son for the longest time. I fought t so hard for so long. Once I realized fighting it only made it worse, I learned to embrace and work with it differently. Life is tons better now!

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    1. YES! That's really the best thing to do. I've learned to encourage that will in them in a godly manner :)

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  2. What an encouraging post! I am praying my little guy's strong will turns into a leader as he gets older! Thanks for a great read!

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    1. YES!! I'm sure he will. Strong willed kids are born leaders :) Which makes it hard for us moms at first but once they get older it will so be worth it :)

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  3. I totally get it. We've managed to curb most of her tantrum like behavior but every now and then she'll have a good one. I see a strong will as leadership material. I just have to help her learn how to channel it. We've got this; )

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"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow." -Ecclesiastes 4:9